Oh my god, somebody help me… I’m about to write about Chik-fil-A again

So, after my brief foray into the homo chicken debacle in my last post, I received a few thinly veiled “tsk tsks!!” from people who helpfully pointed out that this wasn’t just about fried poultry or religion or first amendment rights. I was somewhat consternated (I know it’s not a word. Don’t care.) when reading other blogs/articles that insisted that the Chik’s president’s comments were exactly the kind of thing that destroys the self-esteem of young people and pushes up suicide rates.

Way to make me feel guilty, PC hordes! I mean, I get it. I’m acutely aware of how widespread negative comments about gay people can be irreparably damaging, particularly to teens who are questioning their sexuality and trying to come to some kind of terms with how they feel about themselves by way of how others feel about them (the standard definition of teen esteem). I went through it myself. And the suckage of being reduced to “sinful” and “disgusting” and “against God” even by a stranger, when you’re only 17, can make a sad sag in your life for decades. Believe me–I get it.

My brief and, apparently, glib point was that Mr. Chicken has views (albeit opposed to mine), and he has the right to have them. He even has the right to go out dressed like a chicken and hold up a sign that announces his views in cow-speak. But this entire uproar, evidently, was created when Mr. Chik expressed his opinions in a short interview for the Baptist Press. Hello. The BAPTIST PRESS. Becoming appalled over Baptists condemning anything gay is like saying, “Oh my word! PETA doesn’t support puppy mills. Now that’s a startler!”

All I’m saying is that I’m not quite comprehending the basis for the sudden overwhelming indignation of millions over a brief comment  in an extreme right-wing publication by some narrow-minded billionaire. The fact that Mr. Chicken gives a lot of $$ to organizations that are anti-gay sucks, but he has the right to do it. Don’t like it? Don’t eat at Chik-fil-A. But don’t act like all of this is just so astounding. It’s not. It happens all the time. I hear or read homophobic shit at least once a week that makes Mr. Chicken’s hidden-in-the-back-of-a-Bible-thumping-magazine religious views on gay marriage look like a pleasant moment of small talk at an ice cream social.

Anyway. Enjoying my running blog yet?

I was ready to move on from this whole Chik-fil-A migraine when along came…(SIGH) Chik-fil-A Appreciation Day this past Wednesday. Oh dear. Really? I know supporters tried to cloak it all in, “We’re eating here to support first amendment rights!” but I think we all know why those who stood in line for 3 hours in Dumb Fuck, Arkansas to get a chicken wing were really there.  And then, of course, (speaking of dumb fucks) there was this:

Good grief.

And then, just this morning at the gym, here comes Mr. Conservative in his brand-new Chik-fil-A t-shirt. ACK! So, essentially, Chik-FA has become the new confederate flag, right?  Believe me, Bubba with the Stars and Bars stickers all over his truck is not supporting Southern heritage. He’s a racist. Don’t like gay people, but want to pretend that you’re really supporting something else? Get your Chik-FA wardrobe accessories today!

I’m pretty sure if Mr. Chicken had come out against interracial marriage by way of quoting scripture (common and mildly accepted 60 years ago), there would have been no Chik-FA Appreciation Day. But somehow it’s still okay to have a national show of “appreciation and support” after a business owner is faced with boycotts following a negative comment about gay marriage.

At this juncture, I have a nagging sense that I’ve somehow dug myself into a hole of self-contradictions, but I’m too lazy to weed through all of this and reorganize my thoughts. Thanks.

In conclusion, then, Mr. Chicken’s religious opinions coaxed out of him for an interview with an evangelical-esque publication neither startle me nor particularly make me incensed, but the blockheaded stupidity, self-righteous hatred, and arrogant jackassity of a good portion of Americans is driving me to drink. Does anyone know if the owner of Jack Daniels is against gay marriage? Now that would be upsetting.


5 thoughts on “Oh my god, somebody help me… I’m about to write about Chik-fil-A again

  1. here i was lamenting what good could possibly come from this latest progeny of the modern world, the foods-rights fiasco, when what to my wondering eyes should appear but two blog posts from you in as many weeks. in my mind, that’s a good thing, to hell with the consequences.

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