It’s been just lovely taking a break from this blog! After writing nary a damned word for nearly 3 months (yay!), I started getting some not-so-subtle comments about my lack of contributions and even one delightful message from an imaginary person that said, “Whts happened to you’re blog? Did you stop running or your sick or mad? I hav’ent seen anything new in ahwile.”
While I am occasionally mad, I haven’t been sick in eons (tomorrow I’ll get the Black Death), and I most certainly haven’t stopped running. In fact, I’m gearing up to do something stupid in mid-February with the Run Bitches:
(Note: I had to steal this pic from Amy since I still can’t figure out how to transfer pictures sent to me through email to this stupid blog site. LAME.)
That’s right, bitches! We ran a marathon relay in MonkeyVille a month or so ago, wearing these stunning team shirts and we totally lived up to the announcement on the back of our shirts:
Since this race (OMG. Look how prolific Amy is with her blog. Bitch.), we have been inundated with requests to be on Team Run Bitch. We know you just want the shirt, but there is waaaaaay more to being an RB than looking super-superior in a vibrant purple quasi-mesh frock with 80’s retro lettering. You have to be able to loudly string together an impressive outburst of profanity while racing and not care if that outburst happens directly in front of a 7-year-old. You will need to be able to come up with fun comments like, “I fucking hate marathons” while on a long run training for a marathon. You should have an acute sense of fashion that would, without a doubt, lead you to realize that our first shirt design wasn’t quite right:
And you really should be able to slam three shots of bourbon within 30 minutes of finishing a race without coughing and sputtering, “Is this supposed to burn? Oh dear. I feel funny.” And I guess you should like running. Or whatever. If you’d like to fill out an application, let me know. We’re planning on some other relays in the spring/summer of 2013 and will need several more Run Bitches on board. Special consideration given to anyone with familial connections to the Woodford Reserve distillery in Kentucky.
So, I’m still running. I know a lot of you were moderately amused to hear that Cheryl had beaten me at Santa Rosa. You’ll be just giddy to know that, since then, she beat me by one second (ONE SECOND) at a stupid 6K that went straight up a mountain and then straight down and past stinky llama farms. I was all, “Now, don’t go out too fast! Pace yourself!” right before the race and then, of course, I went out too fast and paced moronically, and Cheryl zipped by me in the last 50 yards.
Then, just a week and a half ago, Cheryl and I ran a 10-mile race entirely together until the last half mile at which point I maintained the pace while Cheryl actually picked it up to run the final mile 20 seconds faster.
Coaching your partner to eventually kick your ass. Priceless.
Well, anyway, I just wanted to check in so that you’d all be relieved (or disappointed) to know that I hadn’t died or gotten too old to run. The Important Announcement segment of this brief post is that I’m going to attempt to post something every Friday for a while to get you nagging crack whores off my back. Obviously, I enjoy writing, but it’s pretty easy to let a blog go for a while. And then for a long while. And then guilt sets in. Then guilt turns to paranoia and anger and stomping around while yelling, “Blogs are stupid! I hate everyone!!”
Or something along those lines.
So something will appear here at least once a week…It could be as lame as, say, discussing why some chicks feel compelled to carry tiny purses around while working out at the gym. Or it could be a fricking masterpiece.
See you bitches soon.