Just a note to let you all (all 6 of you!!) know that I’m not dead.
After the Half Marion in South Dakota, I decided to give my lame-ass self a physical and mental break from OMG! RUNNING!!! for a couple of months…Or at least until I got over my injury, whichever came first. Luckily, my injury disappeared after I did something truly remarkable and revolutionary when it comes to running injuries: I took time off. I know most of you have never heard of this approach, and those who have heard of it get chills and lightheadedness just hearing the phrase, “time off.” Sometimes mention of “cross training” can create moderate fever and disorientation. I’m pretty sure speaking the words, “I didn’t run at all last week” can induce spontaneous diarrhea and Tourette Syndrome.
Anyway, prior to embarking on Not Running, I made a visit to a chiropractor who is supposedly well-known and respected for performing magical Active Release Therapy. I’m sure ART is real and probably effective for some people, but this individual kind of lightly prodded me for about 4 seconds and then commanded me to jog. Naturally, an injury that was about 2 months in the making didn’t just evaporate into the New Age Music air of his dimly-lit relaxation spa examination room. Nonetheless, he seemed shocked and appalled when I was still limping. Then he sternly asked me if there was a history of hip disease in my family (FFS!) and commanded me to get x-rays.
Are you kidding me? Ego much?
So, after panicking for a couple hours after leaving his office, the completely novel and curious notion of not running occurred to me. About 12 days later, I was strangely able to move my leg without wincing or even saying, “Well, shit.”. Within 2 weeks I could jog slowly. Bafflingly, two months later, I’m able to run like a normal person (well, normal for me) again! If anyone can explain this phenomenon, please contact me. I’m thinking this could be a real breakthrough discovery for running injuries.
In other news, the Run Bitches returned to the Rock and Road marathon Relay a couple weeks ago and….well, read all about it on Bitch Amy’s Blog. There are some stellar pictures to go along with it including this one:
Check out that frightening photo bomb child right in the middle. Zoom in and check out her expression! AAAGGGGH! Children of the Corn deluxe!
Looking ahead, The Run Bitches Race Series will be hosting The Beer Mile Before Monkey on November 22nd, the Friday before the Flying Monkey Marathon. We’re just about at our limit (15), but if you’re just really dying to slam 4 beers and run up and down an asinine hill just before dark on a Friday afternoon back on a road where I’ve seen groups of coyotes gathered, let me know. I’m pretty sure at least a few of the people who have signed up for this event will have some sad trumped-up excuse prepared once the Strohs hits the road. And for those of you who remain eternally devoted to my fashion tips when it comes to running apparel, I should mention that I will be running this beer mile in a watermelon pink running skirt that I have borrowed from my imaginary friend Bob out in the Bay Area. Thanks Bob!
Okay, that’s it for now.
The Bitch is back!