1997.2 Miles!! DID IT!

That’s right, bitches! I made it under 2000 miles this year. Staying under 2000 was a goal for 2013 and I just barely made it! It wasn’t easy either. On December 31st, I trundled on out to MonkeyVille fairly worried that I would miss my goal by maybe just a mile or 2. After all, I was on the 11.2 loop, and if I ran the entire 11.2, I would come up long by roughly 3.8 miles. I probably don’t have to tell all my fellow OCD runner types how stressed I was about missing my goal or just how doggone determined I was to nail it.

So how did I do it? Well, I don’t mind bragging about myself when it comes to major achievements like this, so I’ll reveal the ingenious and difficult plan I put in place. When I approached the infamous 9-Mile Hill, I broke into a cold sweat as I realized that if I continued in a running motion, and didn’t do everything within my power to change that motion, my goal would be perilously close to being shot all to hell.

So I focused. I did the math. I gathered all my reserves of willpower, and I stopped and… I WALKED! That’s right. I actually stopped running for nearly an entire mile and a half. That’s how fucking dedicated I was to doing what I said I would do back on December 31, 2012. I think I may have gotten a little choked up at that very moment with the overwhelming sense of just how awesome I am. I made a mental note to humble brag about it on Facebook.

Furthermore, (and, again, I don’t mind publicly patting myself on the back over this admirable tidbit) I cut the 11.2 short by taking a left and continuing to walk (WALK!) back to my car by the service road. So, in summary, in my final all-out effort to hit my year-end running goal, I both stopped running and cut the course. But wait! There’s more! I also logged the run as “The 11.2” even though I made every conceivable effort to not actually run the 11.2.

Aren’t you impressed with my perseverance and dogged stubbornness?


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